Mr and Mrs Clark and Percy

*Note: I am a cat-lover, and no animals were harmed in the writing of this piece

Mr Clark: I’ve arranged for Percy to be stuffed when she dies. I’ve got an appointment with the best taxidermist in town, one Dr. Felix Zeichler. I met him at the Greenblat’s party the other day. You should have seen the crowd around him. I literally had to elbow my way over to the man. And he was priceless. He had three helpings of paella and was stuffed so tightly into his suit he looked like a taxidermied animal himself. Anyhow, after two martinis and a $2,000 down payment, he agreed to take on Percy.

Mrs Clark: And just where will we put this. . .statuette, if you will? You know our designers have emphasized a classic sterility. Edit, edit, edit is what Rikki always says.

Mr Clark: Edit that damn lamp of yours if you want. I vote for the stuffed cat, if alone for the irony. Mr. Zeichler is, would you believe, allergic to cats.

Ms Clark: So this man is going to hold on to our $2,000 until Percy decides to die. I’ve heard of cats living until they’re 18.

Mr Clark: That’s just it. I could only get an appointment with Dr. Zeichler for next week. He’s highly sought-after. So I’m having Percy put down this Friday.

Ms Clark: Have you told the cat about this?

Mr Clark: For God’s sake, everyone craves immortality. Besides, our friends will be green with envy when we have our annual Hanukkah/Christmas/Kwanzaa affair. We’ll probably have to hire a guard just to keep Percy from being lifted.

Ms. Clark: Well, it’s your cat anyway. And I have been growing bored of that lamp. (lifting an imaginary champagne flute in a mimed toast) Here’s to immortality.

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